


Kaddish

by copperbadge



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Judaism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-27
Updated: 2005-01-27
Packaged: 2017-12-23 06:44:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/923211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/copperbadge/pseuds/copperbadge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus, devout, still mourns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kaddish

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Reebchan and accuracy-checked by Heidi and Selkie.

Harry hadn't expected to see Remus Lupin until much later in the year, until the summer after the end of sixth year, in fact; he certainly hadn't expected to see him at Hogwarts, in the middle of the week, in June. 

Remus had been gone most of the Christmas holiday on some business or other, and Harry hadn't gone to Grimmauld Place for the Easter holiday, what with the London Massacre having happened just beforehand and Dumbledore reluctant to let any half-blood, Muggle-born, or Order sympathisers out of Hogwarts. Harry had barely seen Remus since last summer, though they'd come to a sort of tentative peace with each other, Harry forgiving him for keeping him from Sirius, Remus doing what he could to fill Sirius' shoes, as advocate for Harry's interests at the Order meetings. 

Harry definitely hadn't expected to see him in the doorway of McGonagall's transfigurations classroom.

"Professor McGonagall," Remus had said, respectfully. "Headmaster Dumbledore's asked me to fetch Harry."

McGonagall gave him a sharp look, but didn't object as she waved Harry on. Harry glanced at Remus.

"Leave your books with Ron, you won't need them," Remus had said, and Harry had heard snickering behind him from the Slytherins as he passed out into the hallway. 

"Is it happening?" Harry asked.

"What?"

"The end."

Remus blinked at him for a moment, then shook his head. "No, dear boy. No, not at all. I...do you know what today is?"

Harry shook his head.

"I suppose exams have been quite distracting," Remus mused. "A year ago today we had the fight at the Ministry, Harry."

Harry stared up at him, uncomprehending for a second, and then bowed his head.

"I'm sorry I didn't -- "

"No, it's all right..." Remus sighed. "Dumbledore didn't send me for you, Harry, though he did give me permission. I'd like to take you off the grounds. If you're all right with that."

"Where off the grounds?"

"Godric's Hollow."

Harry paused. "Where my parents...?"

"To their house, yes," Remus nodded. "There's something I...go and do, and I thought you might come with me this year. It's not as dangerous as it could be; we'll be protected. Moody and Tonks will be watching to make sure no-one attacks us."

"Why?"

Remus pressed his lips together, and looked away; Harry sensed he was gathering himself for a reply, and spoke before he could. "All right. I'll go."

"Good lad," Remus murmured, and put a hand on his shoulder to guide him down the corridors, out of the castle. Tonks and Moody were waiting on the steps, holding their own broomsticks as well as two others, and whatever they were about to do, Remus had clearly told the others; they kept a respectful distance as they flew, and when they finally touched down in Godric's Hollow, the Aurors hung back, wands out, scanning the area continually. 

There was an empty lot in front of them, a few chunks of cement and rebar grown-over with moss and ivy. What appeared to have once been a garden had overgrown, but it wasn't the usual scrub-ugliness one saw in an untended lot; the entire thing was carpeted in green, and roses grew at the far end, blooming wildly in the June heat. 

"This is my parents' house," Harry said quietly.

"Was," Remus answered. "What's left of it. Dumbledore owns the lot. He's never let anyone build here. He's keeping it in trust for you, for after you graduate."

"Where was my room?" Harry asked impusively. Remus pointed in a general sort of way. 

"There, off the kitchen," he said. "Your parents' room was just beyond it down a hallway, and the guestroom across the way. The first four weeks after you were born, Sirius lived with them, practically moved in -- " Remus swallowed, suddenly, and cut himself off. "He wasn't always very responsible, Harry, but he was always very responsible with you."

"Oh." Harry looked down at the bramble of shrubbery growing over the sidewalk, and kicked a stray stone. "Was this what you wanted to show me?"

Remus shook his head. 

"A few months after your parents died, I -- " he paused. "No, that's the wrong way to start it," he murmured. "Did you know I'm a half-blood, Harry? Like you?"

"No," Harry answered.

"My mum was Muggle-born too. As a matter of fact she was a full Muggle, not magical at all -- there was quite a row when dad told her, apparently, not uncommon when a Magical person marries a Muggle...though that's neither here nor there, I suppose. It was worse for her because she was...er...she was quite religious, you see, and she thought my dad meant he was some kind of -- something between a Satanist and a hippie, I suppose."

Harry grinned a little at the idea of any Lupin being considered a hippie. 

"She accepted it eventually, especially after...well, after what happened to me...and she was very interested in the culture, but she also insisted that if I was going to go to Hogwarts, which was by no means certain, I should have a proper religious education as well. Dad thought it was only fair. I think she secretly wanted me to be a rabbi..."

Harry glanced up at him. "Your mum was Jewish?"

"Still is. As am I. It's rare for a Wizard to be religious, but it does happen." 

"Do you -- " Harry caught himself before he could ask if Remus wore the funny hat, because clearly "the funny hat" was not what one called it. "Er...pray and all?"

"Not as often as I ought, I think," Remus said. "Which is, indirectly, why we're here. Do you know anything about Judaism?"

"Not really. Um. Hanukah."

Remus gave a funny sort of snort, and Harry saw he was a little amused. 

"There's something we call the Kaddish, it's a prayer for the dead. It's said on the anniversary of the death. I used to say it for your parents, each year -- I came here to do it, when I could -- and I said it for Sirius after he died. I'm not exactly allowed to...to go where he died, but this was where he was happiest at any rate."

Harry looked out across the green-covered ruin where his family had lived, once, and silently agreed that if ever there was a place to pray for the dead, this was likely it. 

"I thought perhaps you might want to join me. If you don't, that's all right, most Wizards think religion's rather silly, but then most Wizards think trousers are silly too, and I thought -- "

"No, it's okay," Harry said. "That'd be...good. I guess."

"It's not really for the dead," Remus explained. "It's...well. It's a prayer for peace, I suppose. One asks for the establishment of a peaceful kingdom, abundance and a good life. And there's...praising and such. I'm not very good at explaining. Technically there's supposed to be ten people present, but...well. Anyway. It's no harder than learning a charm, you just repeat after me -- "

He stopped when Harry nodded, and Harry, surprised, felt warm fingers twine in his own, as Remus turned to face the remains of the Potter house in Godric's Hollow. The hand not holding Harry's rested on Remus' head as he bowed it. 

"Yisgadal v'yiskadash sh'mey rabo," he murmured, and Harry followed a little behind, clumsily, but doing his best. "b'alma d'v'ra chirusey..."


End file.
